Me? Oh. I Don't Listen To The Radio Anymore. (Part I)

When I was involuntarily remanded to Serenity Vista for yet another (lucky round seven) attempt at detox, one of the first things they pounded into our addled heads in Group was the importance of our accepting that we have a problem. I readily admitted it. I would have readily admitted anything by that point. I just wanted to be released so I could score.

Radio. Heroin. There are actually some parallels. (I've heard some morning shows that made me feel like I had ants crawling all over me. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?) The first thing you need to do is accept that we have a problem. And I am still fascinated by the number of people in the industry who think that satellite is a phase. iPods are a phase. They're not. They're the opening salvo in a war that up until now was the Phony War of Winter 1940 when the Germans and the French faced off, doing nothing. (Historical reference) There are more and more music delivery systems behind these frontline troops, just waiting for their call up.

We've pretty much had the run of the field up until now. And suddenly some bastards had the audacity to bring out two whole new teams to play us. And, let's admit it: We've been pretty fat and happy for awhile. The little dude with the pony tail who signs my paycheck loves to talk about the time he was working in Fresno and the owner bought the first FM signal in San Diego. He sent Jerry and two other jocks down there to get it up and running. "Just get something, anything, on it" seemed to be the mission statement. So they did. They used the payphone at the gas station across the street as a request line. And FM radio in San Diego was born.

Clifton likes to joke about how he ran into all the AM operators in town at some function. And they all looked down their noses at him. (Because of his stature, there really isn't an option.) "FM? Yeah. That will be big. Don't you know boy that it's a fad. People's radios aren't good enough for them to be able to tell the difference. Hope that works out for ya," and they walked away laughing. Well, it worked out pretty well for him and not that well for them.

"Denial" is a warm, fuzzy place where we can linger for hours. And we have. Now it's time to step out of your little cocoon and face reality head on. (It's a Step in the Program. But I forget which one.)

I was on a flight to Hawaii this past May and the guy next to me on the flight was going on and on about this mini satellite radio he'd bought for his sister and how she was addicted to it and was never going back to "regular radio" again. I hope he slipped on lava. In September I was flying from San Francisco up to Calgary and was talking to a guy. He had gotten a BBM survey (the Canadian Arbitron) and was really surprised, he said, at how little he listened to Radio anymore. "Maybe an hour a week at most."

And then last week I was on the road, at a client. I'll preface this by saying that these people DO get it. They were experimenting with HD three years ago. Actual (shudder) Radio People. I'd heard about them. National Geographic found some in New Guinea. One of the Guys took me and the PD out for a massive steak. (Are there any other kind?) And I did what I love to do: play the dumb guy and ask people who they listen to. The waitress came over with our drinks and I asked her what station she listens to. Now, I learned a long time ago that you can't stereotype listeners. But I would have had her pegged as a total P1 of this station. She had the look. She had the vibe. She was right in the heart of their demo, and they've been #1 in it since Reagan was President.

"Me. Oh. I don't listen to the radio anymore. I got an iPod for Christmas." She tagged this staggering statement with, "I guess I just don't need Radio anymore." I wasn't hungry after that.

The fact that we have allowed ourselves to not only be taken for granted, but we've allowed our audience to feel they don't "need" us, is a tragedy. One of my mantras has always been that "consistent is good." You want to be consistent. "Predictable" is the kiss of death. Take Dave Ryan at KDWB. One of the best morning shows ever. Why? Because he has raised the bar so high that I feel that if I don't listen for at least twenty minutes a day, I might miss something. Astounding. But true.

Do your listeners feel that if they don't listen to you they might miss something?

I've heard from a few stations that their battle plan now is to focus on the music and the imaging of the music. Well, I've got news for you. Even if it wasn't too late, there are now other options where listeners can hear their favorite songs.

Now, more then ever in the history of the medium, what's BETWEEN the music is what will determine the life or death of this industry.

(Next week in part 2 of this series, Nienaber will offer up ideas to help your station develop can't-miss content!)