Cliché Busters: The Rubber Game

A couple of years ago I was at some KDWB function, and Dave Ryan and I were commiserating over the clichéd state of the industry. We undertook the task of trying to come up with a replacement name for "Win It Before You Can Buy It." He submitted some names. I submitted some names. And we threw it out to the masses to vote. My name won that round. We then did the same with "Family Four Packs." Dave's name won that round. So I owe Dave a beer, and he owes me an eight ball and a transgender Thai hooker.

What is another horribly played-out term? "Prize Packs." Seriously. Google the term. The Clean Home Journal does freaking prize packs. So look at what Dave and I have come up with. If there is one that you feel is superior to "prize pack," email it to our Tally Ho, the hottest nurse in the Rose City, Teresa Wheeler. She's relatively unbiased and will count them up over the next week. Her e-mail is wheeler1963@comcast.net.

Vote now. Vote often. To put yourself in the right mindset, think about sticking UPN or Pepsi or Colgate in front of or behind the name. Because those are the clients that will send you a medium-sized T-shirt, a coozie and a pen and expect you to make them sound larger then life on the air. (And I've included the past lists at the bottom.)

• Crap Pack
• Fun Pack
• Fabulous Parting Gifts
• Grab Bag
• Double Bagged With Stuff From (Client)
• Prize Pot
• SPAM (Spectacular Prizes And More)
• Prize Bomb
• Adventure Pack
• Shopping Spree In The Prize Closet Courtesy Of (Client)
• Play Set
• Heapin' Helpin' Of Prizes
• Rock Box (for the AORs)
• Bag 'O Swag
• Treasure Chest
• Schwag Bag
• Prize Sack
• Prize Chest
• Closet Stuffers
• Double Dose Of Prizes
• A Long Pull On The Prize Pipe
• Barrel Of Prizes
• Family Four Packs
• Family Five Packs
• Double Date Prize Pack WINNER
• Dysfunctional Family Four Pack (three tickets, and you leave the 4th kid at home)
• Quality Time With The Kids prize pack
• A More Than Four Pack (however many tickets you want to give out -- five, six, etc.)
• Blended Family Seven Pack
• Kid-Friendly Four Pack
• Supersized Tickets
• Family Pack Of Tickets
• Tickets For The Whole Family (however many you need to take the whole gang)
• F.N.O. (Free Night Out) Passes
• Family Night Out Prize Pack
• A Mini Van Full Of Tickets
• A Row Of Seats
• Family Fun Pack
• Office 12 Pack
• A Four In The Door Pack Of Passes
• Four On The Floor Pack
• Carpool Prize Pack
• Everyone But The Pets Packs
• Brat Pack
• Happy Tickets
• "Six Tix"
• Handful Of Tickets
• Passes In The (Station) Family Zone At (Event)
• A Set Of Six
• An Ishload Of Tickets
• Four For You Prize Pack
• Four Star Prize Pack
• The Daily Double: Twice As Many Tickets
• Win It Before You Can Buy It
• A "Line Crashing" Pack Of Tickets
• Cop It Before They Drop It
• Illegal Tickets (we're going to get C&D'ed for giving these away early)
• Premature Exhilaration
• Get It Before They Print It
• Steal Them Before You Can Buy Them (for tickets) WINNER
• Burn 'Em Before You Can Buy Them (for CD's)
• Steal 'Em Before They Deal 'Em
• Early Reticketment
• Weekend of Firsts
• A "Me First" Prize Package
• #1 (tickets to the #1 movie, a copy of the #1 CD, and be #1 in line for whatever) Weekend
• First On Your Block Prize Package
• Under The Table Tickets
• Random F Word Weekend (Free and First)
• "I Always Come First" Prize Pack
• E.P.T. (Extraordinarily Premature Tickets) Maybe you have the winner take a test and if it turns pink, they get
• the tickets.
• The Prize Time Machine. Not really a name, maybe so much as a weekend. You send a listener forward in time to say, November 2006, before Jingle Ball tickets are even on sale. Or March 2007, where you can buy tickets before a band's big summer tour. And the listener, in the Prize Time Machine, gets to buy tickets in the future. No one else can do it.