October 9, 2009

Take time this weekend to ask, "Who am I?"

Wow, how profound! Is this some '60s "What is life?" thing? I suppose you might look at it that way, but I think it is good to once in awhile look in the mirror and ask that self-study question.

Who am I? You can take a note pad and jot down a few answers. Things like I'm a manager in the radio business, I'm a husband, I'm a father, I'm a son, I'm a daughter, I'm a friend, I'm a mentor, etc.

But, once you have the easy answers, go back and expand on them. As an example, take the one about being a manager in the radio business. Look deeper. Do you consider yourself a great manager? Hey, you're the only one seeing this list, so answer it honestly. What can you do to be able to really honestly use the word, "great"? How about the other questions on your list?

Go through your list and build a really good picture of yourself. I'm going to make a suggestion on how to get to "great." Don't look at the negatives' look at the positives. What do you do well?

Let's say you want to be a great father and you think you haven't played enough catch with your son. Your son can tell instantly if you are just doing the drill and you really don't like playing catch. But your son likes lots of things other than playing catch. He is your son, so your DNA is flowing through his body. Guess what: He would probably enjoy the things you enjoyed as a kid. I'm not saying don't play catch; I'm saying you need to understand the art of throwing a ball back and forth isn't what it's all about. It's about connecting on what's really important. What's really important is for you and your kid to take some time to understand each other.

Now, let's say you want to do the great manager thing and you think you're not there yet. Let's say one of the issues is that you don't connect with some of your employees the way you should. Think about your kid and playing catch. It's the same thing. You don't connect by pushing today's work issues; you connect by getting into each other's minds. Pull down the fences and discuss something non-work related. Once you've established some common ground, move on to the work issues.

Those are a couple of relationship issues, but you can do the exercise with any issue. Write down your strengths and weaknesses. Realize you are not going to correct your weaknesses by trying to become something you are not. Almost exclusively, your weaknesses are there because you are not good at them. You can't study a weakness away. You're not good at them because you just don't have that DNA. So what do you do? You manage your weaknesses. And, you manage weaknesses using your strengths. That's how you get to great.

If you haven't read the book, "Soar With Your Strengths" by Donald Clifton and Paula Nelson, get a copy. It's been out for years and you can get it online for about $10. You'll find immediate applications to your daily personal and professional life. It will make answering "Who am I" a lot easier.