Ego Death

We are taught that having a "good sized ego" (as long as it isn't arrogant) is a healthy thing.

But maybe we are looking at it wrong. Maybe we are confusing "ego" with self-esteem.

These are two distinctly different things. Self-esteem is nurtured from within. Ego gets fed from the outside.

Let’s delve a little deeper into the ego.

Contrary to what we have always believed, we are not our ego. We are the one who notices our ego.

The ego has one job, and it takes its job very seriously. Its job is not to protect US like we naively thought, but to protect its sense of self.

Our ego HATES change. Even if the change is in our best interest, the ego will resist and scream and throw a toddler-like temper tantrum to get its way. When WE want to change, the ego gets threatened.

If left to its own devices, our ego would yammer away, spewing messages of doubt and fear, trying to sabotage us and undermine us uninterrupted and unchecked endlessly. The ego NEVER gets tired, and it is relentless.

Once we fully grasp that our ego will willingly sacrifice our well-being, growth, and progress in order to save its sense of self. EVERYTHING CHANGES!

Yes, awareness is great, but awareness without knowledge and action is useless.

In some of my previous columns I discuss the fact that I now recognize that most of my career path in the entertainment industry was ego driven (as is true with so many of us in this business). My ego was looking to be fed. It was insatiable and it was easily wounded. Looking back I now see that when my ego was satisfied, I was momentarily happy (I thought) but it was very short lived.

I now try to base my choices (not just career but in every aspect of my life) on a question I ask myself, "Does this feed my ego, or does this nurture my soul?" I find when I step back and look at the answer honestly and without judgement, the decision has already been made.

"Ego death is where you find happiness. That’s the only place you find happiness." -Ty Dolla Sign

Next week we’ll talk about why the positivity and personal improvement mindset sometimes backfires on us