The Two Dirty Words!

There are two words which we generally look at as having a negative connotation, but these two words are crucial to living a happier, more mindful life.

The words are surrender and contentment.

If you want to live more peacefully, you'll need expand your definition and understanding of both and embrace them whole-heartedly,

This may seem like a lot of work, but it's just the opposite and once you fully "get" one of them, the other will evolve naturally.

Let's talk about surrender first. When we think of surrender, we usually think of giving up, throwing in the towel, shrugging our shoulders, and walking away. But what if that is only half true?

Yes, surrender is about giving up. No, surrender is not about being a defeatist, it's just the opposite. It can make you feel empowered. The key is what you surrender, and who you are surrendering to.

What if you surrendered the things that you could not change in the present moment? I'm not talking about letting life bulldoze you. You can still make choices and be proactive. One of those choices should be giving up the internal struggle of resisting the current circumstance. This mental battle we engage in is futile and exhausting.

An example? You hate your job, and your boss is a jerk. You spend your time and energy complaining about the situation, wishing (s)he would change or get fired, hatching out revenge plots, and losing sleep. Being miserable about your job has become a second full-time job.

Now what if you decided to say to yourself, "Yes, my boss is an idiot, I hate my present circumstance and I deserve better."

You are accepting the reality of the situation, but you are giving up the mental struggle of battling against it. You have stopped resisting the current situation. Another phrase for this is "it is what it is."

Once you realize this, then choices and decisions come into play. You can start looking for new jobs, you can try to improve your current situation, or you can realize that all things are temporary and choose to let go of the situation for the time being.

Whichever you choose, you will be using your energy to be ok in the present moment and giving up the endless mental tail-chasing.

Basically, surrender happens when you stop trying to swim against the tide of what IS at the current moment, and surrender to the flow of life.

This is summed up beautifully by the serenity prayer which is used in AA but was originally written by German-American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in 1932, which says, in part:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".

Once you start ALLOWING life to happen on its terms, a strange thing follows. You find yourself being content more often.

Contentment is another word which we tend to vilify by mis-definition and misunderstanding. Much like with "surrender" we look at contentment as accepting the status quo and not striving for more. This is only half true.

What if being content DOES mean giving up striving for something in the future and CHOOSING instead to be perfectly ok in the moment with things as they are?

What if instead of happiness, which is fleeting and dependent on outside factors, you chose instead to surrender to the "is-ness" of what currently is?

It's a crazy but simple concept that is only a choice away. Try it, I think you'll like it!

"It's a beautiful day. Sky falls, you feel like. It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away". -U2