How Do We Take Control of Our Lives While Surrendering to A Bigger Source?

The process of personal growth and self-development isn't always straightforward.

There are both inner and out struggles to face throughout our lives.

Add to that the often confusing seemingly mixed signals we get from self-improvement books, mentors and gurus.

How are we supposed to "take control of our lives" while simultaneously "surrendering to the universe"?

It sounds, and feels, counterintuitive.

The key is to be discerning when deciding what to give your energy to, which things you can control, and in which cases resistance to what is "is" in a situation is not only futile, but self-sabotaging.

I often come back to the Serenity Prayer. Popularized in support groups like AA, it was originally written by Dr. Niebuhr.

It reads:

"God, give me the serenity to accept things which cannot be changed; Give me courage to change things which must be changed; And the wisdom to distinguish one from the other."

The word "God" can be left out or replaced if it makes you uncomfortable. But the point is to turn inward, or upward when feeling "stuck." Ask for guidance not just on HOW to proceed, but if proceeding with personal action is even wise at all.

Sometimes the best action, is no action. No action is not necessarily INACTION. It is, instead, the knowingness and acceptance that life will move in its own direction, at its own pace, despite our personal preferences or objections.

Which brings me back to mindfulness (as it often does). Mindfulness is the awareness and acceptance of a current situation, as it is, despite our wants, needs, and desires.

Surrender is both difficult, and extremely simple. It is always a decision away.