Chasing our Dreams

When we are children we get mixed messages.

We are told that we should chase our dreams, and that we can be anything we want.

The problem with this well intended advice is twofold.

The first problem is that although it sounds great and encouraging initially, there is a sudden shift in attitude when our dreams are deemed unacceptable to our parents or society at large.

The real message is, ‘you can be anything you want, as long as is conforms to certain standards and expectations.’

The second problem is a little stickier. Sure it's great to have dreams and ambitions. However, that goal-oriented mindset keeps us always looking to the future for happiness, and never being content in the now.

It sets a precedent for reaching, striving and pursuing. Ostensibly it's the dream we are chasing after, but in reality we are chasing happiness. We believe the fulfillment of that dream will make us happy.

I speak of this first hand. As an entertainer and a broadcaster, I spent the last couple of decades trying to achieve some kind of recognition, notoriety and respect. Each time I reached a goal, happiness was elusive - it was a dangling carrot.

When my brother and only sibling died suddenly in 2020, it was a shock to my system. So many of my beliefs, desires and aspirations were upended, never to be made right again.

The sudden realization that it could all just end, and that all of the self-imposed hardship, struggling and striving was for naught was very eye-opening.

In the last two years, I have had to reevaluate a lot of things, and figure out what dreams, if any, I still have.

The conclusion that I've come to is that although I no longer have dreams, I do have a single desire. That desire is to fall in love. Sure, falling in love with a romantic partner is on the list, but more than that I want to fall in love with myself, with the world, with humanity, with life.

I'm getting there.

The truth is, we never really chase dreams and we chase the illusion of happiness. However, happiness doesn't need to be chased. It's available here and now, if we know where and how to look for it.