Why Do We Resist Personal Growth and Positive Change?

Sometimes we say we want things in our lives to change and can be surprised to realize that part of us is resisting doing to work to create the change we desire.

There's an old saying that when we know better, we do better. It's not that simple, however.

It is common to know better intellectually, but have a difficult time implementing that knowledge into an action plan.

Resistance to change is an unwillingness to adapt to new circumstances or ways of doing things.

The resistance can be conscious or subconscious.

Some people consciously decided that for whatever reason, they are going to keep doing what they have been doing.

Other people make a conscious choice to change, but find themselves self-sabotaging, and turning to old habits and coping mechanisms.

This can be extremely frustrating. It's important not to use this as a weapon against ourselves.

The worse we feel about ourselves, and the more we beat ourselves up, the less likely we are to continue our personal growth process.

So what do we do?

It is important to meet yourself, wherever you are, with patience, kindness and self-compassion.

One of the keys to self-compassion is the realization and appreciation that often THE THING WE WANT TO CHANGE IS THE THING THAT KEPT US FEELING SAFE FOR SO LONG.

When we truly realize this, it makes sense that we would resist letting go of our coping mechanism, which we think of as a safety net.

The next step is acknowledging that our maladaptive behavior, whatever it is, no longer serves us.

Again, we do this with patience, kindness and compassion, for both ourselves and the behavior.

We can acknowledge the behavior, tell it we understand where it came from and the purpose it served at the time it was formed, thank it and tell it its service is no longer needed.

Taking these steps consistently, can be the gateway through resistance and into empowerment.