Childhood Wounds In Adult Romantic Relationships

The other day I was watching 90 day fiancé (yup, I admit it!) and it occurred to me how many of us make childish choices in adult romantic relationships.

We bought into this whole idea of "romance" so much, it seems we've lost common sense and the ability to make mature decisions.

The reality show I mentioned is an extreme, but I think this happens to so many of us in real life.

We put more time and effort into researching a new car before we buy one, than we do deciding who we want to partner up with.

If you were looking to buy a car and found out:

-it's only runs sometimes
-it probably can't take you where you need to go
-the ride is very uncomfortable

Would you buy the car?

Of course you wouldn't.

Yet we tend to disregard, dismiss or ignore red flags in our relationships and potential relationships.

Why is this?

A lot of my clients are by-products of childhood trauma or childhood emotional neglect.

They grew up thinking love was conditional, volatile and unstable.

Unfortunately we carry often carry those childhood wounds into adulthood.

We find people that can't, or won't, meet our needs and we make excuses and stay in unhealthy relationships.

We often do this because we haven't been experienced what true love looks like, and feel this is the most we deserve, or is the best we are going to get.

It is simply not true.

Once we examine our feelings about love, intimacy and vulnerability, we can figure out how and why these beliefs were formed.

We can than take this knowledge and move forward as an empowered adult, rather than a wounded child.