More on Mature Romantic Relationships

We've all heard the expressions:

"You complete me."
"Looking for my other half."
"Without you, I'm nothing."

Historically, I believed these were romantic expressions of ideal romantic love.

Just like everything else on this personal growth journey, I am rethinking that as well.

I read a concept the other day that blew my mind and had me totally questioning how we were raised to look at romance.

We're sold this idea that our partner should be able to fulfill if not all, then very close to all of our needs.

The other day I heard that someone suggest that in a healthy adult relationship, our ideal partner should fill 25 percent of our needs.

I was taken aback. ONLY 25 percent???

The speaker went on to say that rest of our needs should be filled with things like, family, friends, work, spirituality, passions and hobbies.

Woah.

Everything I have been taught about everything is coming under question.

After the initial shock, I realized that it's kind a liberating concept and makes so much sense.

It takes the pressure off of us. We no longer need to try to be the "perfect" partner. And it takes pressure off the way we look at our mates or potential mates.

To try to be, or to expect, even 90 percent of our needs to be met by another person is a set up for failure.

We often don't even know our own needs let alone express them honestly and openly.

As adults, we also often haven't been taking care of our own needs, so to expect someone else to do it seems unrealistic and unfair.

I think the idea is fascinating, and something to consider. The key to a healthier, happier relationship may start with defining what 25 percent of needs you would like a partner to fill and move forward from there.

Something else to play with, the 25 percent doesn't need to be from just one category! It can be broken down into sub-categories to add up to 25 percent, like a need buffet!

One of the takeaways of all this, is about our personal development. The older we get, the more we should start to question all of the things we have been taught, told and modeled.

Maybe there is no one game plan for our ultimate growth, health, happiness and expansion.

Maybe it's time we rewrite the script.